Sometimes the biggest enemy when it comes to self-confidence is the self. We allow pessimistic thoughts about ourselves and abilities to control our actions, or, rather, lack of. And when we finally take that first step, we suddenly turn into some strict disciplinarian basketball coach who is overly critical of the best players and is hard to please. So we voluntarily sit out of the game, or warm the bench for the other players. We rather avoid self-destructive criticisms in the event of a loss instead of taking action on what we know will benefit us and our family. This is an issue of low self-confidence. Either we think we simply can’t do it and aren’t good enough, or we’re afraid of failing and thus validating our pessimistic beliefs about ourselves.